I start to think...

I start to think, when i'm alone. Tons of thoughts. Who am i if not my parents, what i have learnt til the age of 20, when you are new to something, you will be especially excited to try it, to learn it, and when you are used to it, you became bored with it. So is that shows you are lacking of loyalty like in terms of relationship? example flowerish heart...?
Unanswered questions are hard to bear with. yes. I fell inlove easily. I fell in love to anyone who treat me a little nicer. I thought of them every single day because i'm a person who likes the memories with others unless the person changes. So am i a flowerish guy? But i barely do a single thing to show that i fell in love . why is that so? i do asked myself. Is just remain without answers.
It took me 19 years for me to find out that i dont actually understand myself. I thought im smart, but i dont. I thought i can be as nice as i can if i want, im not that nice actually. I thought i will be rich and financial free in future, but is actually beyond my control. I thought i can express myself well, but i dont really will do that. I thought i can sing and act , no i dont.
SO why am i writing this? simple, because to tell that i thought im a good in everything but no. the only way is to learn from these and to urge for curiosity to learn again. I spent alot of time on computer just to find out imbalance usage will not benefits but will spoilt a person life style and future. I miss everything including my friends and every person in my life. My brain deserved a better nourishment than the ultra violet ray of this box. While I STILL GOT THE time, i will answer god's question to serve others. WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR ON THIS EARTH?